I Haven’t Slept A Good Night’s Sleep Since Kanye Ruined One Of His Best Beats With That Whoopity Scoop Nonsense

Lift yourself up on your feet

duhhhhh duh duh da, something something strive for liberty

I remember the exact moment that I first listened to this Kanye song. I’m in the car, driving somewhere, and I check New Music Friday to see that the motherloving, certifiable GOAT released a new song. I couldn’t believe it, because I hadn’t heard inklings of it beforehand. So boom, I put that dang converter on the aux cord and plug my phone in.

The beat comes on, and you hear the chipmunk gospel that Kanye made famous. The kind of shit that has given Chance the Rapper a reason to call himself a rapper. It’s the most classic Kanye beat. Some soulful song from the 1970s, with the pitch and tempo changed a bit. My nips are hard, and there’s just a little bit of spittle dripping out of my mouth.

The things keeps doing its thing, and I’m getting more excited. Kanye hypes you up, saying “THIS NEXT VERSE THOUGH”. I’m driving on the sidewalk. Every door including the trunk has been popped in the middle of the highway in order for the entire public to hear that fire shit coming through loud and clear. It keeps building and building and building. Like Jordan waiting for the exact right time to hit his game winner, you hear Kanye contemplating on the mic. He steps up. And…..

poopy-di scoop. scoop-diddy-whoop.

I laughed out loud. Some would say screamed. It wasn”t a joyful one, but one of horror. That our Lord and Savior would ruin one of the best beats he ever made, for the purpose of a joke or a troll. Bridges were burned that day between me and him. Tears were shed. And I haven’t slept a full night since.


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