Blame Charles Miner, Not Jim, For Phyllis Getting Hit In The Head With A Soccer Ball

(ignore the people in the background this was the only video that wasn’t copyrighted)

They’re playing parking lot soccer, and Charles decides to boot the freaking thing at full speed? Not Messi, Ronaldo, or the other soccer players in the world who I can definitely name would’ve stood in front of that thing. If my calculation are correct, Charles is 2.6 yards away from Jim. What’s his goal in booting it like that? To hurt Jim? To hit the car in background? It’s hard to say for certain, but one thing is clear: any injuries to Phyllis should be attributed back to Charles.

A couple other things about this scene. First, where are all the cars? Bob Vance and W.B. Jones gave their employees the day off? Second, how are we supposed to believe that Jim Halpert doesn’t know even the basics of soccer? In his second life, he’s a sports writer in Philly. He starts a sports marketing firm. And yet he doesn’t even know the positions on the soccer field? Or a single player? Not to nitpick, but things aren’t adding up. Jim’s obviously a degenerate gambler hiding in plain sight. He’s been up late at night watching Latvian soccer games trying to win his money back from a tough weekend of football losses. By playing dumb about soccer, he covers that all up. But we’re watching Jim, and we know your secrets.

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