The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck About Your Nonsense Job

It’s 6:54 as I type this and I have approximately 36 minutes left in my work day. I work in a health care field, but in a bullshit health care field. Aka the person who wipes your grandpa’s ass stains off the table after he finishes his physical therapy for the rotator cuff he tore turning the steering wheel too hard. By the way, please tell him to stop lecturing us on why the chickens we eat aren’t good for us. We do not care, we’re still going to eat our chickens.

I stand writing this after a mid-shift revelation: that I don’t need to keep acting like I give a fuck about a job that pays me a tiny amount of money per hour. The federal minimum wage is what, $7.25 an hour? And we still wonder why people sell drugs? Okay so you have two options, restocking the shelves at Target for $7.25 an hour, or selling the 16 year olds that live on the other side of the tracks a gram of weed for $35, which takes 5 minutes. Wow really a difficult decision.

The first few shifts at this job, which I’m working while I make my way through my last year of grad school, I was so worried about making sure I made everyone happy and did everything exactly how people wanted. Always asking questions about how to set things up that I already knew how to set up, just to make sure it was done exactly how they wanted it to be done. Nuh uh, not worth it. To all of you doing one of these bullshit jobs, here’s a tip: take your time, and do things how you want to. I know what you’re going to say, “but Sam what if I get fired??? I can’t lose my job!”

To that, I ask you this. If your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss got told by the shareholders that he needed to get rid of unproductive locations, do you think he would think twice about firing your ass? After all, you’re hourly, and thus dispensable. So stop worrying about how you’re doing your job. Do it precisely good enough. You don’t have to go that extra mile, or give an arm and a leg to make sure the corporation you’re working for keeps their reputation. If they wanted that, they should pay you more. A lot more.


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