Apple Added a Measure App to iOS 12 So That You Can’t Lie About Your Dick Size Any More

We didn’t ask for this. Why do you literally have to bust balls here?

Now I’m too old to still be sending dick pics. This thing doesn’t translate well through phones (or in person), so what’s the point in sending it around.

But back in my hey day I used to sling a pic or two back in the day, and every now and then the GF might ask for one. But never will I send one now that Apple has this measure feature. Because the dick pic game is one of angles. “If I shoot it from 2 feet away at a 78 degree angle, it’ll look huge”. Those were the days. It was a game, a chess match you could say.

But now, you’re going to get hit with a “screenshot it on measure”. We can’t allow this to happen. Especially to those who are blessed in the basement, don’t fuck over the rest of us by ever doing this. It’s accurate. Too accurate. (I’ve beeen doing it over and over again for research and I don’t like the numbers that are coming back). That angle and lighting gave guys like me some hope. We could be anybody. You’re taking that away from us Apple.


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