It’s September 30th and the Kanye Album Still Hasn’t Dropped

So Kanye appeared on SNL last night and performed maybe his worst song ever with Lil Pump, and then a track with Teyanna Taylor that was flames. She said “I have birth on the bathroom floor, it was just me, Iman, and a pair of headphones”. Which, if you don’t know that story, educate yourself.

At the end, much like previously with TLOP, we all expected him to drop the album at the end of his performance.

But oh no, Mr. West decided to deprive us of that. Kanye, release the freaking album. We don’t have a lot going on our lives. This is like the main thing for a lot of us to look forward to until Thanksgiving. And you just lied about when it was coming out. Straight up lied. Look you’d be better off just not saying anything, and when someone asks you when it’s coming out saying “fuck you it’s going to come out when it comes out”. And we’d have no legitimate response, because we’d be waiting on our hands and knees for it.

My hunch is that Kanye released the album last night. Somewhere. In some corner of the internet or the world. He probably left it on the counter of a hipster coffee shop in Brooklyn, and he’s just waiting for someone to upload it to their google drive or wherever the kids are sharing music illegally nowadays. And no one is going to click on their link because we all have PTSD of crashing our family computer when we were 16 from downloading Lil Wayne songs. Maybe by Christmas Kanye will validate it with a quote tweet.

Advertisements

Brett Kavanaugh’s Temperament Alone is Disqualifying

Let’s paint a picture. It’s 2020, and Brett Kavanaugh is sitting on the Supreme Court. Cory Booker is running for President, and oh no we have another Florida situation! We have to go to the Supreme Court to decide in favor or Cory Booker or Mr. Trump.

Now we know Neil Gorsuch, Clarence Thomas, and Samuel Alito aren’t going to vote for Mr. Booker. Neither is Justice Roberts. These are just the facts we know from their judicial history. But what about little Bart Kavanaugh? How do you think the Supreme Court justice who blamed “the left” and “the Clintons” and screamed at “the democrats” is going to vote? At least with the other justices, there’s a semblance of non-partisanship. I mean, it’s a load of bullshit, but at least they act like it. But Bart O’Kavanaugh? There’s no shred of non-partisanship. Not one little bit. It ends the Supreme Court as we know it, and starts an era of hyper-politicized justices who will just keep going further and further right or left.

Brett Kavanaugh’s temperament is the issue. His grudges are an issue. His Trump-esque cable news language is an issue. His sexual assault is an issue. His feeling of entitlement is an issue. Imagine for a moment that Dr. Ford came into the hearing and screamed at Republican senators, asking them about their drinking habits, interrupting them, and screaming over them when they answer simple questions. She’d be painted as a psychopath, an over-emotional liar who’s acting with a vengeance and as a political warrior.

She came to the hearings with grace and a calm temperament. Judge Kavanaugh came with anger and hatred, an inability to stay calm in hard situations. You can’t yell and scream on the Supreme Court. You can’t sit there and yell at any democrat when they come through the door. We saw Judge Kavanaugh’s true colors yesterday, and they were terrifying.

Apple Added a Measure App to iOS 12 So That You Can’t Lie About Your Dick Size Any More

We didn’t ask for this. Why do you literally have to bust balls here?

Now I’m too old to still be sending dick pics. This thing doesn’t translate well through phones (or in person), so what’s the point in sending it around.

But back in my hey day I used to sling a pic or two back in the day, and every now and then the GF might ask for one. But never will I send one now that Apple has this measure feature. Because the dick pic game is one of angles. “If I shoot it from 2 feet away at a 78 degree angle, it’ll look huge”. Those were the days. It was a game, a chess match you could say.

But now, you’re going to get hit with a “screenshot it on measure”. We can’t allow this to happen. Especially to those who are blessed in the basement, don’t fuck over the rest of us by ever doing this. It’s accurate. Too accurate. (I’ve beeen doing it over and over again for research and I don’t like the numbers that are coming back). That angle and lighting gave guys like me some hope. We could be anybody. You’re taking that away from us Apple.

Here’s A Good Take: Jimmy Butler is A Defensive Carmelo Anthony

Yuge news from Shams today, that Jimmy Butler has requested a trade off of the Timberwolves. Which is now the second team Jimmy Butler has more or less forced himself off of.

So let’s talk the talk: he’s the new Carmelo. Or Dwight Howard. We always talk about the next Lebron or Kd, but we should be discussing the next “insanely talented guy who bitches and moans everywhere he goes and is sneaky a terrible teammate”. Jimmy Butler thought he was too good to be on the Bulls, whole simultaneously “not wanting the spotlight” (his words).

Now he’s forcing himself off of Minnesota, whomst gave up the world for him between Lavine, Dunn, and picks. Jimmy Butler will never be a superstar in the league, and he’ll never win a championship. Not because of the team he’s on, or the players around him. But because of Jimmy Butler. Who the hell fights with Karl Anthony Towns? He’s like the nicest dude in the universe?

We can already see where this is going. He’ll get traded to the Knicks, who will then sign Kyrie next year. There will be a lot of hype, they’ll be on magazine covers and in commercials together. And they’ll fucking stink. 27 wins, and a top 10 pick.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck About Your Nonsense Job

It’s 6:54 as I type this and I have approximately 36 minutes left in my work day. I work in a health care field, but in a bullshit health care field. Aka the person who wipes your grandpa’s ass stains off the table after he finishes his physical therapy for the rotator cuff he tore turning the steering wheel too hard. By the way, please tell him to stop lecturing us on why the chickens we eat aren’t good for us. We do not care, we’re still going to eat our chickens.

I stand writing this after a mid-shift revelation: that I don’t need to keep acting like I give a fuck about a job that pays me a tiny amount of money per hour. The federal minimum wage is what, $7.25 an hour? And we still wonder why people sell drugs? Okay so you have two options, restocking the shelves at Target for $7.25 an hour, or selling the 16 year olds that live on the other side of the tracks a gram of weed for $35, which takes 5 minutes. Wow really a difficult decision.

The first few shifts at this job, which I’m working while I make my way through my last year of grad school, I was so worried about making sure I made everyone happy and did everything exactly how people wanted. Always asking questions about how to set things up that I already knew how to set up, just to make sure it was done exactly how they wanted it to be done. Nuh uh, not worth it. To all of you doing one of these bullshit jobs, here’s a tip: take your time, and do things how you want to. I know what you’re going to say, “but Sam what if I get fired??? I can’t lose my job!”

To that, I ask you this. If your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss got told by the shareholders that he needed to get rid of unproductive locations, do you think he would think twice about firing your ass? After all, you’re hourly, and thus dispensable. So stop worrying about how you’re doing your job. Do it precisely good enough. You don’t have to go that extra mile, or give an arm and a leg to make sure the corporation you’re working for keeps their reputation. If they wanted that, they should pay you more. A lot more.

No, @roddreher, Brett Kavanaugh Was Not Just “Being a Boy”. Also, why do you get a blue check mark?

Where Rod is from, apparently all teenage boys go around raping people when they’re in high school. But they grow up to be good guys so it doesn’t matter any more and everyone in town just forgets about it.

In the rest of the United States though, things are not the same. Let’s get ahead of this story before conservatives start running with it: it is not a common teenage boy experience to rape women, nor is it common to have the desire to do so. We had the same issue when the President was CAUGHT ON FILM TALKING ABOUT GRABBING WOMEN BY THE PUSSY YES THAT REALLY HAPPENED AND YES REPUBLICANS STILL VOTED FOR HIM, where they said “well this is how men talk in the locker room. Well, no, we don’t. Yes, some men do. Those men are assholes. Nobody likes those guys. We all think they’re gigantic douchebags.

Rod is correct that the difference between a 17 year old and a 47 year old are vast. When you’re that age, you’re dumb for sure. But you know that rape is wrong, and you know the impact it has on the victim. You know you’re ruining a life. It’s not shoplifting a candy bar or shooting people with a BB gun (both things that young black men, well kids if we’re judging it by the Kavanagh standard, got killed by police for). It’s violent, and lacks empathy. If Brett Kavanagh admits what he did is wrong, and the victim is willing to forgive him, he should be able to continue his career. If he says “yes I made a mistake, a vile one, when I was in high school and that’s something I have to live with forever. I’m truly sorry to the victim”, then I’m okay with him going on with his life as a lawyer.

But he should never have the right to judge people, especially at the highest level. We have a high standard for the Supreme Court, as we should. Decisions there have directly resulted in extended lives and deaths across the nation. The people making those decisions should be held to the highest standard, and have the cleanest record possible. we’ll let a few parking tickets slide, but anything more starts to push our boundaries. A rapist shouldn’t get to decide laws.

Lastly, fuck all these blue check marks on Twitter. I haven’t gone on regularly in awhile, and this is one of the reasons why. If Twitter were about that life at all, they’d take away all the blue checkmarks and only give it to people that buy at least $100,000 worth of their stock.

What If Next 9/11, We Don’t Show Constant Footage of 9/11

Would your life be that different? Would you suddenly forget about what happened?

It’s a tradition on cable news stations and elsewhere. September 11th brings an array of montages, “where were you” stories, and recollections of that same day in 2001. You’ll hear people say “we didn’t know what was going on” or how they still remember the sound of the jumpers hitting the ground.

I’ve been there before. There’s something that draws us to tragedy. It’s more curiosity than glorification. We don’t enjoy watching replays of anchors reacting live to something like 9/11, and yet it has tens of millions of views on YouTube. Naturally, there’s something within us that’s drawn to that. Maybe it’s the emotion it invokes in us, how we’ve cultivated a desire to be moved intensely. There’s so much information, so much intake of content, that being truly moved and shook has become truly harder and harder. Maybe it’s because you truly forgot what you felt that day, and you want to remember that feeling. Maybe it’s a million things.

One thing it’s not is a holiday, and not a day we should be nostalgic or reminiscent about. Large from Barstool said it best in his column this morning:

But I will tell you honestly that I fucking HATE the anniversary of 9/11.  If my dad were to ever die in a car crash, I would execrate all the major networks if they ran traffic-cam footage of that deadly crash over-and-over again on the anniversary of his death.  Similarly, my wife and kids basically get to see a plane crash into their father/grandfather over-and-over again once a year.

We’ve seen it enough. We’re not going to forget it. If you feel like you are, then maybe you should let that memory go. We’re spiking up raw emotions and fears from almost two decades ago, and for what? So that we stay afraid? Or as a way to convince ourselves that murdering thousands of civilians and sacrificing thousands of our own in a two decade war was worth it?

End the 9/11 holiday. Remember it, yes. But don’t tell yourself you’re never allowed to forget it.